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Tuesday March 2, 2021
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Single non-white jacket seeks lost partner in North Vancouver

April 10, 2019 10:22am

Yes, a jacket in North Vancouver is seeking a romantic reunion with a lost partner.

And this is what it has to say, with the help of ventriloquist and RCMP media relations officer, Sgt. Peter DeVries of North Van RCMP.

The Jacket: A broad shouldered and nicely tanned Virgo, size XL. I love long walks on the beach and candle-lit dinners. I’m not sporty, but I’m just as comfortable at a pub as I am at the symphony. I’m warm, soft, formal, and low-maintenance. I don’t like labels, so nobody can tell where I’m from. I’m well put together, and have never fallen apart in public. Smooth-chested. No back hair! 

You: broad shouldered, tall Scorpio who wears size XL. By my guess you’re over 40 (but you don’t look a day over 29!) You know how to treat a jacket. You never labelled me and I loved you for that. You’re clean, but not a neat-freak. You thought we were through, so you let me go. You said, It’s not you, it’s me. You dropped me off on that rainy night, behind the Salvation Army Thrift Store on Fell Street in North Vancouver. I found someone new, someone who would love me again. You’re a good catch so you probably did too. But I think you still miss me. Because you left something valuable behind, in one of my pockets. Not a scarf or pair of socks, but something much more valuable. Maybe you just wanted one last chance to hold me?

The Jacket is missing you: Call at 604-985-1311

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